Relationships can be one of the most special and most meaningful parts of our lives- and can also be one of the most painful when things start to feel disconnected.

Maybe it feels like you’re having the same argument over and over and can’t seem to find a way to get out of it. Maybe communication feels tense, distant or easily misunderstood. Maybe it feels like things are generally good, but when conflict does show up, you start to question whether things were as good or secure as you had thought. Or maybe things look ‘fine’ on the outside, but something between you doesn’t feel the same anymore.

Couples therapy is a space to slow things down and understand what’s really happening underneath those moments.

I use an approach called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) which helps us to look beyond the surface of conflict and into the deeper patterns or cycle, that keeps you both stuck. Often times, what looks like anger or withdrawal or defensiveness is actually about something more vulnerable- wanting to feel closer, safer, or important to each other. When we can get to that place, everything can start to feel different, and better.

In couples therapy, we begin to recognize the cycle you get caught in together. We’re able to then understand the emotions and needs underneath some of those reactions that can feel so confusing to your partner. Then we create new ways of reaching for each other that feel safer and more connecting. This will all strengthen the sense of trust and emotional closeness between you- which is what most couples come in yearning and longing for.

Couples go through so many transitions and changes throughout the relationship. Our needs, desires, longings, and just general dynamics evolve. Having the space to explore all of this can be such a gift to growing and moving forward together.